If you want to create your own view reference family you can start by editing the one that is provided with Revit. You can also start with a Generic Annotation family template and then assign it to the View Reference Category via Settings menu > Family Category and Parameters.
The View Reference family is a system family that can have different annotation families assigned as a type parameter. To use your own view reference annotation you can alter the existing one to use your family or duplicate the existing type and then assign your new family to the new type you just created.
To actually make the change you need to start the View Reference tool > click Properties > click Edit/New then either change the View Reference assigned or click Duplicate to create a second type to use.
Now you can use either the original or your new view reference.
Personally I think that a View Reference tag should show up in the Settings menu > > Annotations > Loaded Tags dialog just for the sake of consistency.